Freedom: (noun) Exemption from external control, physical restraint; the state of being free or at liberty.
I find it hilarious that the first thing I thought of when I ate the tasty mushroom of inspiration this evening, was about the word freedom consisting roughly 60% of the word ‘free’. Free is a great word. But, I didn’t immediately think of it how I would have initially preferred, and ended up imagining things being free in a consumer world, very much like the Xbox 360 my work is giving away as a bonus with a particular TV in the current catalogue. Bonus, awesome!! So, why are 90% of customers who enquire about this astronomical special we are promoting wanting to upgrade to something bigger, something better? Let me tell you why. Free equals exempt, but the grass is always greener on the other side. No matter what, the circumstances could and should be far better suited to your ideals or cravings. We are a selfish bunch.
As happy as we are, I don’t believe we as human beings will ever be truly free. I am still, and always will be a victim of society, fashion, and the economy…not to mention life itself. Even things that I choose not to partake in, such as religion, are still abundant in my life; there is a Christian church right across the road from my house, and a prominent Adelaide Catholic school right by my work. It’s hardly important, but the fact that they simply exist around me makes them a compulsory shadow in my life.
As I clarified earlier, freedom is the feeling of exemption of restrictions and restraint. Whatever, and fair enough… I can see this working very nicely for somebody who has just rid themselves of something that was holding them back – such as the milestone of finishing school, finally moving out of home and away from your parents, or even escaping a relationship they were not happy in. In reality though, is the transition really as seamless as it appears to be?
When I think about finishing school and the way I accomplished that feat, it was certainly as glorious as I intended it to be as I walked out of those gates for the last time that had closed me into such a solid routine for most of my life. I admit I also felt a rather prominent pang of sadness. I realised, especially over the month or so following, that although I liked to hate the routine that was school, lessons and being present for 8:45am role call, it was the foundation of my life. I was now bored, working very similar hours as a cashier at the local supermarket as I was when I was occupied with study. So, this left 40 or so daytime hours each week, previously consisting of maths and history and dreaded homework that I now had to fill by my own means – it became a simple, hollow void. Now that recess and lunch no longer occurred, I begrudgingly found myself associating with my friends a lot less, as it now required effort and none of us were used to that. Sure, we were all free from horrible school, but now we had to face the real world, and decide what the future was all about. Glamour factor? Next to zero.
The next real epiphany I experienced came about four months after finishing Year 12. It was ‘moving out’ time, or in my case, leaving the small country town I knew back-to-front to leap head first into the unfamiliar and exotic city lights with my boyfriend. Dave and I moved to Adelaide, both got full-time jobs, and began planning the next stage of our future. It was all too overwhelming for me, this freedom thing. I realised that I missed my mum, my friends, my home…and I was having a very hard time struggling to adjust to all of this. So when everything fell to pieces, I crumbled. One hundred percent, my life fell apart around me. Freedom sucked. It was not all that I promised to myself, in actual fact it turned out to be a load of shit that didn’t exist, no matter now much I dedicated myself to chasing after it. But there was this switch in my mind that had flicked, and gotten itself well and truly stuck… I was out now, and I was indeed ‘free’. There was no going back to living at home, in the town I had so gleefully and pitifully left only six weeks prior. That would be rewinding to the past. Who wants to do that at 18 years old? The world is supposed to be your oyster.
After many calamities and decisions that in retrospect I can only think of as life-changing, and after four years and an immense amount of growing up and finding myself, I have realised something else.
I am free from my youth and the silly immaturity that encompassed it. Fantastic! But, is it really as good as we imagine? Sure, I feel relatively happy, but now I have rent to pay, bills to keep on top of, and a fridge to keep stocked. Which is fine, as I work a full-time job as an Assistant Manager. Excellent! I am also free from being treated as Miss Inferior within the workplace, I don’t have to deal with being constantly told what to do. But because of this, I have the responsibility to maintain an electronics store, the staff I have significant input in hiring, stock levels and its overall performance. I have to contribute myself to the store… You know that it’s not easy. It’s actually rather stressful… With the freedom I have worked so hard to earn for myself has only come with more restrictions, bigger restraints and all in all, I am less exempt from the world’s evil grasp than I was as a bright eyed youth, when this was all I could dream of.
We as a race work to our utter limits for freedom. We are (mostly) lucky enough to have been raised in the country that is Australia, where freedom of thought and speech and life in general is embraced, and never drastically frowned upon. But, do we take this for granted? I feel as though we might, possibly. But who’s to know? Who’s to make this ultimate decision? If only peace was as easy to achieve as freedom, as we imagine it. “Imagine all the people…”
I have an inkling that nobody will ever be free. Not physically, anyway. Mental or spiritual freedom is only temporary - in my eyes, anyway. Those amazing, gorgeous hippie people that listen to Bob Marley and grow dreadlocks out of their heads and don’t shave their armpits or wear clean socks seem to be eternally at peace with the world. But don’t they have to deal with waking up in the morning, and living the life they’ve welcomed in just the same way as we do?
Freedom is peace. And if you can give me eternal peace, with myself and my mind and the world and everybody that lives their lives in the world, do it, now. Make me as safe as you can. I will probably give birth to a shiny green kitten in cowboy boots, that I conceived out of sheer suprise. Do it.
I’d put a response here, but I’m already relaying my thoughts to you live on msn. So nah :P
hey pretty indept, very interesting i can relate to some of that it takes you back to know how my past and the feelings felt at stages similar. sad in some areas and puts a smile in other areas.
This is an extremely interesting article, you’ve definitely provoked a lot of new thoughts about freedom and life in me after reading this. I believe we’re 50% where we are through choice, 40% due to environmental factors and 10% through pure luck, give or take a few percent. I might have this completely backwards with choice being the 10% factor, but I like to think positively. It’s great how you can write about life experiences objectively, which is something I personally find really hard to do, being able to analyse life in such a way is definitely a good way to see if you’re heading in the right direction.
Great article!