It’s that time of year again…

The sun is out more often than not, the sky is appearing bluer by the day, and gradually the need to rug up and stay warm diminishes. It’s that time of year where my annual ‘depression’, for lack of a better word, crawls back into it’s sleepy shell, and I become more enveloped with inspiration, excitement and happiness every morning that I wake.

You see, I utterly detest winter. It’s cold (I may as well be cold-blooded, it’s that hard for me to be warm), wet, and the days are non-existent. Working a five day, 9am-5pm week pretty much guarantees that it averages about 6 cold, miserable degrees on my morning jaunt to the bus stop. Even with gloves on, and the hood of my jacket over my head, my nose runs, my lungs hurt, and my fingers and toes are completely numb. Being in the heated workplace isn’t so bad – well at least I’m not being blown over and rained on in there. But it’s still work. The best part of a working day is the end, that part when you can say “Yay, now it’s time to go home!” Yay, indeed. It’s 5.45pm by the time I close those doors, and it’s dark.

What happened to the day? Life goes on like this for several weeks, just passes me by. I wake up, work, sleep. Evenings and nights are out of the question to leave the house; and not just for me either. Ask anyone; it’s just TOO COLD. Cooping yourself up inside constantly can’t be mentally or physically good for one’s health. Bored? Have a snack… or five. Bored? Stare intently into the box that is the TV for another hour. Bored? Go to sleep. Sleep comes far too easily in winter, provoking the awful feelings of lethargy and listlessness to stick around. Problem for me is, I am easily bored, and things such as TV and video games do not excite me in the slightest.

So, I spend these weeks hibernating, waiting for the days to grow longer, warmer, and all in all more pleasant. Just sitting and waiting.

Then there is that wonderful transitional stage between Winter and Summer that we like to call Spring; and right now, it seems as though it is beginning. Splendid.

I have spent the last couple of days rugged up inside, despite the perfect weather outside, despite the sun warming the ground we walk on and despite the birds who are ever so musical lately. I’m home sick from work, and I have truly physically felt like a piece of arse. It doesn’t matter, though. The season of Spring makes me feel emotionally indestructible. It makes me happy. I know that within a few days I will have no problem wandering out into the day, and savor that magical feeling of the Sun’s gorgeous rays soaking into my bones. How blissfully exciting!

However, there is a handful of other emotions that come with the change in season that while I accept, I do not fully understand why they’re so abundant. Reflection, nostalgia, reminiscence. It’s interesting, really. I always feel like I have been transported back to a happier, more youthful time in my life, although I have never been able to place my finger on where or when. Because that more peaceful feeling is me, now, as I am. Memories certainly linger of old times, but no matter what the memory I cannot help but embrace them, and smile as a sense of well-being consumes my thoughts. I do sometimes almost feel as though I should be saddened by some of these fleeting memories, but sadness and despair are simply impossible.

I do not feel lost. I cannot feel lost.

I am ready to take on the world, and I will win and continue to win… that is, at least, until Winter makes its presence known again. It is a vicious cycle. But I will ignore this cruel notion for as long as I can manage, and do my best to simply enjoy the journey through what we call life. It’s a beautiful thing that I am not quite ready to begin taking for granted again. :)